Impassioned Lovers
by toolostforyou
Summary: Instead of cheating, what if Mac had talked to Will about her fears?


_Will/Mac___

_Instead of cheating, what if Mac had talked to Will about her fears?_

"I'm scared." Her voice breaks the midnight silence and she feels Will's hand still in her hair. It's a Friday night; they've been together for a year and a half. She had practically moved in with him, she still has her place but it rarely gets used. They had spent the night at an Italian restaurant after Mackenzie had spent the day at work complaining over her craving for pasta, followed by a cocktail bar and spending a few hours between the bedroom sheets.

The main issue had been Will finally saying those three words about a month ago. In turn she just kissed him, those words could have come a lot earlier, she was aware of that. She just didn't feel on steady ground, other than her family she had never told anyone she loved them. What did it feel like? Mackenzie knew the way she felt with Will was unique to what she had felt in the past but she didn't want to say those words when she didn't mean them.

"What of?"

She keeps her head against his chest, her arms around his waist and their legs touching. She doesn't want to look at him because she would get scared and she wouldn't tell him what she was feeling and the concerns she held.

"Us. Commitment and what I feel." Will is just silent and she can hear his pulse start to speed up as he seems to go into panic. She doesn't know how to explain this but she needed to say something. When she gets scared she has a habit of fucking up relationships and for once, her father approved of Will and something about him felt, right. But why couldn't she say the words?

"Why does it scare you?"

"I've never been in a relationship that has been this serious or lasted as long. Typically a year into it, commitment starts getting talked about, moving in, marriage and children. I panic and find a way to mess up the relationship so we break up. I know we're practically living together and I spend almost every night here but because it just happened, I didn't panic." She was moving her hand against his chest; drawing patterns in the hope that it would sooth her or at least it gave her hands something to do.

"But you said I love you and the alarm bells started going off. I feel something for you, something that has kept me here for so long and why I am still here instead of running for the hills. But I don't know if it's love. I've never said it before; I didn't want to lie to someone about my feelings, especially you. I don't know what it's expected to feel like because I don't believe it's what the novels try to tell you it's like."

"You just know Kenz."

She didn't like that. It seems illogical, there should be a way to measure it, and a way to describe it so she knew that what she was feeling was love. She was in her thirties and she was worried about things like that. Most of the people she had gone to college with had been married and some on their second child. While all she had attached to her name was a string of failed relationships.

"What do you feel? When you think about us what do you feel?"

"I don't feel the need to run as much as I used to. Actually I haven't even really wanted to which is new. I care for you more than anyone; you met my parents that has never happened. I want to be around you, I thought it wouldn't work because we work on the same show and I would get sick of being around you but at the end of the day I don't want to leave you. I want to go home with you; I even called here home the other day because it has more of my stuff here than my apartment does. And mum has commented how I've changed for the better and how whenever I talk about you I start smiling."

Mackenzie tips her head up to look at Will and he's got that smile. She's never seen him give anyone else it but it truly reaches his eyes, causing them to twinkle. It's that look that makes her believe that she does love him because it's all she wants to see.

"I want you and only you. But is that love? What if it's just lust or a crush?"

"They don't last this long. If it was one of those emotional, it would have passed at least a year ago."

She froze for a seconds, he had felt this way for that long and just said something? Was it for her benefit? It wasn't hard to tell that she had relationship issues but he had kept quiet for so long.

Leaning up, she pressed her lips against his, letting them linger for a few seconds before she settled back on her favourite spot on his chest.

"Just give me a little more time."

She waited until his breathing started to change; slightly shallower and slower then she knew he was asleep. As she reached over to clasp his hand, she was careful not to jolt or wake him.

A week later she received a text from Brian, which she didn't even read before deleting.

The day after, she finally told Will she loved him while he was live on air. She didn't miss the way he looked directly into the camera and how the rest of the broadcast included him with a silly grin on his face.


End file.
